Goosebumps Books That Would Scare The Crap Out Of Homebodies & Introverts

For Things 90s Kids Realize readers who’d like to check out my other writing, visit Pajamas Over People where I’ll be posting often.

Now, a while back I made some Goosebumps covers that would scare the crap out of adults, which included titles such as Return Of The Check Engine Light, The Monday Morning Alarm Clock Of Doom, The Cop Who Drove Behind You For Miles, and The Curse Of The Undone Laundry.

Today, I’d like to present some more covers, though these are geared specifically towards driving fear into the souls of homebodies and introverts. I feel like there are so many possibilities and routes to take here, so I covered some worries that I think most of us can relate to, but I encourage you to share the things you dread on a Goosebumps level in the comments.

Brace yourself before scrolling further, folks, it’s about to get scary as heck.

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If Will Smith On ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’ Had Instagram

What if The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’s Will Smith had an iPhone and Instagram? Surely he’d have been an active user, the social butterfly that he was. Let’s take a look at what #FreshPrinstagram might look like.


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10 Mind-Blowing, Bizarre 90s Cartoon Theories

Disclaimer: These are all insanely odd or a stretch, so use your imagination… or don’t. Ultimately, it’s just a bunch of overanalyzing cartoons, so being realistic isn’t particularly a priority.

1. Gaston From Beauty And The Beast Is A Repressed Homosexual

This theory is somewhat undeveloped and difficult to find details on, but basically the over-the-top, ultra-macho persona is an act, and Gaston is secretly gay – perhaps even for his buddy LeFou. See, Gaston overcompensates by being as masculine as possible, yet he’s brushing off the abundance of women throwing themselves at him. Subconsciously he goes after Belle, who he knows would never touch him. His immature courting of Belle doesn’t stand a chance of resulting in anything, and he knows that.

Belle then gets a rich, abusive boyfriend who locks her up and doesn’t release her until she’s gone Stockholm, and when Gaston tries to come to her aid, the psycho boyfriend kills him. He died knowing he was gay, but not knowing that he knew he was gay.

2. Doug Was Sexually Assaulted By Mr. Dink & Took Drugs To Cope (It felt weird to even type this sentence out.)

I feel like it’s about to get a little stranger, so just pretend a little ‘TV MA’ logo popped up to warn you of the impending eeriness. Ready? K, so, this theory states that Doug’s neighbor, Mr. Dink, was a child predator who preyed on Doug, leading to Doug taking LSD (that he stole from sister Judy’s room) as a coping mechanism. Here’s the imagination stretching evidence to back those allegations:

– Mr. Dink always invites Doug into his home to show him some “very expensive” high-tech gadget. Even in the first episode when they meet, Mr. Dink pressures Doug into coming over to watch a video. Also, there’s a point in the show where Dink offers Doug a chance to work in his heavily secured shed.

– Mr. Dink has no children, but is the scout leader of Doug’s Bluffscout troop. There’s an episode where Doug, Skeeter and Mr. Dink get lost while canoeing. Dink says he’s going to search for camp, and when Doug & Skeeter go after him, they find him butt naked in a tree, claiming to have to have “lost” his pants.
10 Mind-Blowing, Bizarre 90s Cartoon Theories
Mounting a tree in the nude while in the wilderness with two 11-year-old boys? Suspect.

– Judy never wants Doug in her room. It’s a strongly enforced rule, and in an episode where Doug went through Judy’s belongings, she’s irate. Why? Because obviously she’s got a ton of LSD in there, and doesn’t want Doug finding and/or mooching on her stash.

– The LSD would explain all of Doug’s hallucinations. We thought it was daydreaming, but were we actually riding the enchanted train on Doug’s psychedelic journeys? There was an episode where Doug is home alone, sneaks into Judy’s room and later, while in the basement, begins hallucinating. Yeah, more like Drug Funnie. For the more detailed theory, click here. Continue reading

Awesome Similarities Between Breaking Bad and Pinky and the Brain!

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Once Upon A Time, A Few Mistakes Ago…

Now I'm Lion On The Cold, Hard Ground

Wolverine or Two Batmans?

Wolverine or Batmans?
Which one is it?

Toy Story + The Walking Dead = Zombie Loving 90s Kids’ Dream Come True

Toy Story + The Walking Dead = Zombie Loving 90s Kids' Dream Come True
Things like this are why we love the Internet. Recently many folks online have pointed out similarities between AMC’s The Walking Dead and beloved 90s classic, Toy Story. My personal favorite is the undeniable resemblance between Lotso the a-hole bear, and The Governor. Check out this video below, which is only about 42 seconds minus the credits, but still so, so very fantastic.