#1 Doug Was Whipped.

Doug Funny put an undeserving Patty on a pedestal. That’s right, Patty Mayonnaise is arguably the most overrated piece of cartoon ass that I’ve ever seen. Doug was always willing to do anything Patty wanted at the drop of a dime and I never understood why. I know it’s difficult to judge a cartoon by her looks but there is a massive list of female cartoon characters that were far more aesthetically pleasing. C’mon, Doug — you’re better than that.


25 responses to “#1 Doug Was Whipped.

  1. “you’re better than that” tru story bro.

  2. Were doug and Pattie the first cartoon interracial relationship!?!?!?

  3. Dude have you seen Doug, he was balding before he hit puberty and has the dress sense of a blind man. Of coarse he put patty on a pedestal what else could the helpless guy do!

  4. I have to explanations to why Doug put Patty on a pedestal:

    1. Doug is secretly Jewish. No 12 year old, gentile white boy is that neurotic and shy.

    2. Patty is all about personality. Connie was the naive, innocent heavy girl, and Beebe was a spoiled beeotch. Patty was athletic, and put Doug to the test. She challenged him, and that’s what he liked about her.

  5. Patty is the Kelly Kapowski of cartoons. Except less hot.

  6. Didn’t Patty end up crippled?

    Thank god….

  7. I don’t think Doug was reaching for the stars here…let’s face it, he was balding at age 12.

  8. Doug was the first emo kid. FACT

    • Ah, no.

      1. He listens to an awesome band like The Beets, not shitty emo bands like Panic at the Disco.
      2. He writes in a journal, not a diary (there’s an episode that confirms this). Dumb emo kids write in diaries (there’s a song that confirms this).
      3. Doug never dresses in black, cuts himself, hates his life, or likes boys. That’s probably more Judy than anything because she’s the overly dramatic theatre geek.
      4. Doug’s shtick is he’s rather plain in his look and mannerisms (opposite of Skeeter), but he’s truly a bright, creative person that chicks would really dig once they got to know him better.
      5. Thomas Hobbes was the first emo. He thought men truly led meaningless lives.

  9. Patty Mayonnaise had a hot raspy voice.

  10. What made sense about this was that Doug didn’t have any good alternatives, they way a lot of other people on shows in the period did. It wasn’t like Doug was running after Patti while ignoring someone else who would have been much better (Wikipedia says Connie kind of liked him, but a) I never noticed this, and 2) who would want Connie anyway?).

  11. Do you guys remember the episode where she became anorexic? Sickly funny and way too serious of content for the show. She had a spray bottle of something called “sandwich spray” which she allowed herself two squirts of for lunch.

  12. Doug was just being honest with himself

  13. Maybe he was just trying to make up for destroying the house she grew up in.

  14. patty mayonnaise is a whore.

  15. Screw you guys. I’ll admit it- I crushed on Patty. She had more substance than the other characters in the show. She wasn’t caught up in the show’s (hilariously satirical) fads and she always stood fast to her own beliefs. I think Doug was right to hold her in such high regard; she was kind of like a puzzle, and she separated herself from the masses- kind of like Doug.

  16. Patty Mayonnaise, obviously a lesbian..

  17. I would have gotten with Connie if i were doug, she had the thickness

  18. If you love 90’s Nick check out http://www.nickreboot.com They have 90’s and early 2000’s shows (and a few 80’s shows) plus you can chat with other 90’s fans. Enjoy!

  19. I don’t remember being able to actually “surf” the internet using a web browser until I was about in Middle school and I was born in ’86

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