#53 Mario Kart Makes A Great Sobriety Test.

OK, if you played Mario Kart back in the day, you probably know the factors that go into winning a race. Simply paying attention to the curves and turns of different tracks wasn’t going to cut it, you had to turn your cautiousness up a few notches and be aware of your surroundings. All it took was one turtle shell or a single banana peel to send you from first to worst. With the level of alertness required during these races, it makes for a fun and efficient sobriety test. If you and your friends have had a few drinks and aren’t sure who is in the best condition to drive home, battle it out on Rainbow Road. Trust me, the Rainbow Road course if difficult enough when you’re sober, so anyone who can complete it after consuming alcohol is in fairly good shape.

(THIS IS JUST A JOKE. PLEASE, DON’T EVER REALLY DRINK AND DRIVE.)

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8 responses to “#53 Mario Kart Makes A Great Sobriety Test.

  1. We always used the Mike Tyson Punch Out test, it is not possible to beat him when intoxicated….I can’t tell you what I did two weeks ago but I can always remember 007-373-5963

  2. I beg to differ. I have found that Mario Kart can be played just as well drunkenly. For me and some long time friends Mario Kart is an experience that as carved out its own little section of the brain. A section that cannot be touched by alcohol. A section that kicks into full gear when inebriation has all but shut down the rest of the conscious mind. Once you have drank away all your worldly concerns you can tap into your full racing potential.

  3. My brothers and I like to play a game now called beerio kart… much more difficult than just playing. You have to finish an entire beer before the end of the race, but you can’t drink and drive (you have to stop accelerating, but can glide, to drink some of your beer). Trust me it’s harder than it sounds!

  4. The first time I beat the Rainbow Road, I flipped a sh**! That was my favorite game back in the day. I remember playing the beach level and taking all the shortcuts and i had some unbeatable times.

  5. Ughhhhh RAINBOW ROAD I don’t think I ever passed that level!

  6. i play super mairo kart AND mario kart 64 until today, drinking alcohol (wine and rum) and smoking pots and i am the fucking best… nobody can beat me…. wanna challenge? just bring the rum

  7. I HATED Rainbow Road!!! I was always falling off. Guess which level my siblings always wanted to play…?

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