#58 Buffy Would Have Slayed Edward Cullen.

She would’ve made quick work of this glittery, love struck, disgrace of a vampire. I know, I know Edward is like, soooo dreamy and everything a girl could ever ask for and blah, blah, blah. I’m sure a girl really wants a guy to pop up in her room at night randomly and sabotage her car so she can’t attend a party — that would go over well in real life.  Now vampires weren’t a massively popular thing in the 90s like they’ve become as of late but that’s probably because Buffy was slaying all of ‘em. I know you may be concerned that a ladies man like that Cullen guy could stare awkwardly and say lame one liners to Buffy, seducing her as he did Bella, but no way would that work on this chick. She was romantically involved with a creepy looking guy of her own. Meaning Edward would’ve ended up with a stake in his chest leaving nothing but a pile of fairy dust.


20 responses to “#58 Buffy Would Have Slayed Edward Cullen.

  1. One of two things would’ve happened in the Buffy/Edward revelation. 1) She would’ve gone out with him since, hell, she boned two anyway; or, 2) Spike and Angel just show up and kill him themselves. Then have it out over Buffy.

  2. I think Buffy’s boyfriend Riley would have staked Edward’s sorry ass.

  3. You are one million percent correct about this one, and others agree!

  4. Don’t you think that Angel was the archetype for the Cullen lad though? Brooding, sad, vegetarian (relatively speaking) and stalking. At least they boned outside of marriage, even if he did turn evil afterwards.

    Spike FTW. Though they neutered him too.

  5. hey, so I just say this and it reminded me of a clip i saw a while back that someone made. its called buffy shuts down edward cullen. check it out.

  6. Nice one! Though i do think that the archetype for Edward was peter pan and tinkerbell combined, the sparkly living forever kinds!!

  7. This is funny, however, if you’re familiar with the Twilight vampires, they’re only capable of being killed by tearing them apart and burning the parts. Stakes and all other vampire lore does not affect them in the slightest.

  8. Oh my gosh what is the deal with this Twilight obsession? I mean c’mon! the guys aren’t that great looking, she’s not that great looking, the stories lame, I wish Buffy could come back and Stake his pathetic ass. that would rock.

  9. Fuck Twilight!!! Pussys!!!

  10. I’m a 14 year old guy, and I just wanna say “Thank God someone FUCKING gets it”!!! Yeah I was born at the end of an era in 1996 so I only remember portions of it but I did recently see nick gas once but back to this. FUCK YEAH SOMEONE GETS THAT EDWARD IS A FUCKING RETARD ASS PIECE OF SHIT

  11. Somewhere in the web, there’s a Twilight/Buffy mash up where Buffy kills Edward. It is incredible (and had great film editing) Also, vampires weren’t popular in the 90s? What about Vampire: The Masquerade?

  12. Dont get me wrong; I HATE HATE HATE HATE TWILIGHT WITH THE BURNING PASSION OF A THOUSAND SUNS. Plot hole, grammatic errors and scary fanatics have driven me FAR FAR away from this piece of shit writing, BUT technically Edward is not a threat to humans (as Angel wasnt). For the most part, he has his blood lust in control. Im sorry to say, but I dont think Buffy wouldve dusted him.

  13. Buffy has fallen in love with two dreamy vampires: Angel and Spike. Who is to say that she wouldn’t fall in love with Edward also?

  14. Buffy Vs. Edward

  15. I think it’s compelling to also note that Buffy the Vampire slayer was first a really bad 90s comedy where a “blonde” cheerleader found herself killing vamps with hairspray and cheer trained aeronautics…the buffy tv show was a loose(very loose, like name only) spin-off. If you havent watched this movie then you really need to find it and have a peek…

  16. edward is a dush and buffy kicks @$$.

  17. Hi there, I want to subscribe for this webpage to take most up-to-date
    updates, thus where can i do it please help out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s