#60 Princess Toadstool Needs To Help Herself.

How many times can one possibly be kidnapped? I mean for goodness’ sake, she’s a grown woman, yet she’s managed to be snatched up several hundred times in multiple Mario games. Personally, I think the Princess is attention hungry and she’s on a steady “damsel in distress” diet.  It seems as if she gets off on the fact that Mario always opens up massive cans of whoop ass and tracks her down every time she is abducted. And Mario is somewhat of an enabler because he willingly risks his life constantly and that condones the Princess’ self-destructive behavior. If he really wants to save the Princess, he should let that bimbo find her own way out of Bowser’s dungeon.  I bet if this spoiled broad had to grab coins, smash bricks, jump on top of enemies and warp through pipes in a dress and heels, she’d figure out how to not get F**KING kidnapped every other day.

Sidenote: The time Princess fought in Super Mario Bros. 2 was actually Mario’s dream.


19 responses to “#60 Princess Toadstool Needs To Help Herself.

  1. She was bad ass in Americas Super Mario Bro 2, but that was in Mario’s dreams.

  2. She does Fight in Super Mario Bros 2. But I agree with you that Bimbo needs to fight her own battles

  3. Her and Zelda both. Bitches.

  4. For the record, in the 2000s they finally gave Princess Peach a chance to open a can of whoop ass on her own. 🙂 The game is for Nintendo DS and is aptly titled “Super Princess Peach”. It’s a pretty intense game–and she rescues Mario for once doing all of the aforementioned.

  5. No kidding! Granted I do love the new SMG, but the same old story being rehashed is old.

  6. Someone else that manages to get kidnapped all the time is Kim, Jack’s daughter, in 24. All the time.

  7. You leave her alone. This bitch must live in Mexico City, always getting kidnapped an shit

  8. Just putting this out there.
    Honestly I don’t think the princess was “kidnapped” at all. Breaking down the story, she’s alway had bowser around and Mario is from another world basically. Bowser has many many children who help bowser and constantly call her mom and she never once denies it.
    So in simple terms, let’s forget another the whole acid trip off running through clouds kicking flying turtle, eating shrooms of many different colors(green give you life, red makes you big) and the flowers giving you power of fire. This is just the typical story of wife having an affair with the plumber to “save” her from the “evil” Bowser and her many children she can’t get away from.

  9. Can we consider Super Mario RPG, where she is a valuable member of the party? Or the Paper Mario games, where she might be captured but she has a storyline to herself in which she aids her own rescue…

    Not that I disagree with your overall point. 🙂

  10. I think it’s pretty creepy that Bowser kept kidnapping her over and over…I mean, what was he planning to do with her, rape her? Keep her caged in his castle? Kinda a creepy dude if you ask me. And for her to be kidnapped over and over? FFS get a stun gun or something! Call ADT! Buy a German Shepherd!

  11. This blew my mind when I first saw this:

    SMB2 and Doki Doki Panic…watch the video for yourself.
    Rumor is that SMB2 was too hard for the US players so they took a game (DDP) and made it SMB themed…I mean come on…how many turnips did we see after SMB2?

  12. She’s like Daria’s sister Quinn on Daria. She just wants the boys to fight over her.

  13. I think Mario, Bowser and the Princess need to attend group therapy for co-dependancy.

  14. This girl probably knows the name of every single guard by now.

  15. She was secretly screwing Bowser so she wasn’t getting kidnapped.. just faking it to Mario

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