#96 Figure It Out Had Some Lame Kids.

The game show where four Nickelodeon celebrity panelists would guess skills or accomplishments of kids was something many of us found ourselves watching back in the day. Unfortunately, there were many instances where the word “talent” was used very loosely. Among the most preposterous “talents” were the following:
A kid who could bite a piece of cheese into the shape of Florida. Riveting.
A boy who collected his toe jam and turned it into a ball of toe jam. Disgusting.
A kid who bents fingers back to wrist. You’re double jointed, not talented.
A kid who discovered peanut shells hid the scent of pig urine. How and why hediscovered this, we don’t want to know.
 A kid who sticks lobsters to eyelids and tongue. Really? Reeeeally?
A kid who collected human hair to make dolls. Not noteworthy or a skill/talent. It is however, extraordinarily creepy.
A kid with a rattail down his neck. Congrats on growing an ugly hair style.

While these kids failed epically there was a fair share of skilled kids. The human jump rope and cup stacker kids are the ones that come to mind immediately. The other annoying thing was how unenthusiastic some of these contestants were. We all would’ve loved to be on a Nickelodeon game show and some of these kids were bratty, stuck up or lacking a pulse. You’re on TV winning prizes you ungrateful bee-otches, ENJOY IT. In those kids defense, sometimes the prizes were a tad lame. Like, WTF do I want a “Figure It Out” messenger bag for? C’mon now! Another plus was the host everyone had a crush on, Summer Sanders. Unfortunately her coolness was canceled out by the obnoxiously corny dude who would announce all of the prizes. This sounds like a lot of negative but the show did deliver in the entertainment department! Danny’s constant jokes, flipping his hair back to get slime on the crowd and Lori Beth Denberg always seeming to have the correct guess were common occurrences. Hmm, Lori Beth really knew the answers far too often. Upon reflection, many areas of the show seem blatantly rigged. If that’s the case they owe us an apology… Although, an apology won’t un-shit those kids prizes.


24 responses to “#96 Figure It Out Had Some Lame Kids.

  1. A lot of those kids seemed like characters from All That sketches… I couldn’t get into the show because of the above-mentioned lameness…

  2. you’re right, some of the “talents” were ridiculous! I just wrote about the oddness of this show a couple weeks ago: http://www.thetalkingbox.com/2011/04/figure-it-out.html

  3. There were a lot of weird talents on that show. I remember a girl who would let her dog drink milk out of her mouth. How is that talent? And then I remember a girl who could fit through a clothes hanger. Any skinny kid could do that, lol.

  4. Exactly mia! Alot of those “skills” were WTF?

  5. I don’t think I saw the one about the toe jam, so the most disgusting one I remember, is the kid that ate cereal out of/off of his brother’s chest.

  6. I was around the age of 5 when this show was around, and, because of this show, I remember thinking that flaring my nostrils was an actual talent. Then, I actually met Summer Sanders at a grand opening of a local recreation center and telling her what my so called “talent” was. Everyone around me just laughed. I took me a few years to figure out why. LOL 😛

  7. I remember Lori Beth Denberg always being a real bitch. It wasn’t that it was rigged – she was just enough of an asshole to purposely solve the clues, whereas the rest of the panel WANTED the kid to win; because they were decent human-beings and wanted to see a kid get a prize.

    I always hated her. I remember back in the day – in the opening of “All That” she jumps up on a trampoline and my dad always used to go, “KABOOM!” on her way down like she crushed the sidewalk. Fun times. Fun times…

  8. How about NONE of the kids having any sort of on-air talent? All of them either clammed up or spazzed out as soon as those Figure It Out cameras started rolling. The only thing more awkward than biting cheese into Florida is being on national television for it and not being able to speak.

  9. omg, i would ALWAYS be so aggavated with those kids who wouldn’t smile when they won

    like you’re on tv take the stick out of your butt

    i would have killed to be on a nick game show!

  10. I seem to remember one kid who was really good at etch a sketch which was pretty impressive. Oh I was really young when I saw the rat tail one and actually hoped he had an actual rat tail.

  11. I remember a girl who had an invention – it was a necklace that held your retainer case on it, so you never lost your retainer. You wore it around your neck. While more innovative than a lot of the kids on there…I remember thinking that was essentially the dorkiest thing I could think of. Sure-fire way of getting the crap beat out of you at school. My mom told me not to be friends with people like her, when we watched it together.

  12. Pete and Pete

    There was one episode where the kid was an alleged master crane game player. Took the jerk 6 times to win it. Give me Legends of the hidden temple any day,

  13. A couple that stick out for me was a kid who could play anything by ear, after hearing it once (or twice, maybe?), and a kid who developed a system to figure out what day of the week any date lies on.

    Then there was the black girl with the ridiculously long name…

  14. ah, the chick’s name was Rhoshandiatellyneshiaunneveshenk Koyaanisquatsiuth Williams, though I remember it being longer, with some, like, random actual product names in it and stuff.

  15. I actually remember the boy with the rattail. I remember thinking that it didn’t matter if it had never been cut, all of his baby hair would have fallen out by then. :I
    Wasn’t there a girl who at dog food on one of the episodes? Or maybe that was a different show.

  16. I *am* the kid who bit the cheese into states. But to be honest, what kinds of “talents” do you expect out of like, 7-year-olds? Haha. Still have the “temple idol” of Legends of the Hidden Temple though (which incidentally looks more like a large gingerbread man than a temple idol). So even if my talent is lame, I still have that 🙂

    • Wow really? That’s fantastic that you still have that. You should post some pictures of it saying “Hey, remember this piece?”

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  18. Does anyone remember the episode where one of the contestants was a really pretty girl (probably 15 or 16), to whom Danny Tamborelli and Josh Server were more than obviously attracted to? I have no idea what her talent was, but I do remember how flustered each of the boys got when it was their turn to guess, and at one point Josh asked “Are you Little Pete’s personal massage therapist?”, which made our beloved ginger turn bright red. The girl played it off really well, but I always wondered what happened after the show. Did one of them successfully ask her out? Or did she break the hearts of not one but two All That stars?

  19. I remember one girl claimed to have the world’s longest full name. The subtitle just scrolled and scrolled and scrolled.

  20. Remember the kid who could eat a bowl of cereal out of his chest? Is that what it was? He had like a sunken chest?

  21. They have a new version of this show every night on nickelodeon at 7pm, my little sister watches it like every night. I’ve never seen the old version but I’m positive it had to be better than the new one! And was the girl that would always guess every talent right the fat (no offense) girl from all that that did the vital information sketch?

  22. What I found funny was the fact that no kid ever lost on the first round. Even if the panel knew. They always got the second prize.

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