Category Archives: Realizations

#123 Encarta Encyclopedia Was Our Wikipedia

Nowadays when you want to look something up, you type into a Google search box and there are billions of search results at your fingertips. Sometimes, before you even have a chance to finish typing the words, it correctly guesses what you’re seeking and autofills in the rest of the phrase for you. Finding information is a cakewalk nowadays, but that wasn’t the case in the ’90s.  Sure, near the end of the decade we had subpar search engines like AskJeeves, but throughout the ’90s, Encarta Encyclopedia was our most convenient resource for information. Whether you were writing a paper for school, or randomly felt compelled to know facts about volcanoes, Encarta was there to provide you with the goods.

Obviously the Encarta database wasn’t as extensive as Wikipedia, but it was still a step up from the ol’ thick and heavy, hardcover encyclopedia sets that folks used to have to thumb through for any little nugget of info. The Encarta era was great for its time, but much like any software from the past, it seems pretty ‘meh’ nowadays. Still, for its valiant effort and all of the 5 paragraph essays it helped complete, it deserves all of the respect.

R.I.P. Encarta Encyclopedia, 1993-2009 (yeah, believe it or not, they lingered around until 2009 somehow)


#122 The Sonic Drowning Music Gave (And Still Gives) All Of The Anxiety

I’ve mentioned this before, but it really can’t be overstated so I’ll say it here again and someday I might just shout it from the rooftops: THE MUSIC PLAYED WHEN SONIC WAS DROWNING IS TERRIFYING/PANIC-INDUCING. If Anxiety were a professional wrestler, its entrance theme would be the music played when Sonic is drowning. If there was a soundtrack to that moment when the waitress is walking over and you’re not sure what you want to order, this is would be the score playing in the background. If someone took the feelings felt during a panic attack and infused them into a melody, IT. WOULD. BE. THE. MUSIC. PLAYED. WHEN. SONIC. IS. DROWNING. This little tune will never not make me feel incredibly uncomfortable, and when my first gray hairs inevitably arrive some day, I’ll blame the music played when Sonic is drowning.

#121 Friends, Seinfeld, And Mad About You Take Place In The Same Universe

90s television was no stranger to the crossover episode routine, but in doing so you’re placing the shows involved within the same fictional universe. They did this with Full House and Family Matters when DJ’s friend Julie’s cousin turned out to be Steve Urkel.
I presume this was some twisted parallel dimension in which pesky neighbors ran amok, considering Kimmy Gibbler and Steve Urkel lived next door to the respective families in each series.

This happened with many other shows, but what many may not have noticed was the linking of Mad About You, Friends and Seinfeld. Continue reading

#120 Arnold’s Grandpa Was Kinda Inappropriate

For starters, Grandpa Phil’s head was undeniably shaped like a penis – I mean, look at it — just by being shown on screen, phallic head Phil was inappropriate.

Phallic Grandpa Phil Head

If the silhouette of that man’s head isn’t problematic enough for you, let’s look at some more not-so-child-friendly moments involving Phil throughout the series.
Continue reading

#119 Doug Funnie And Mr. Simmons Are Basically The Same Dude

Things 90s Kids Realize

For those foggy on Mr. Simmons, let’s jog your memory and get you up to speed.
He was a teacher on Hey Arnold and, as the picture makes evident, he was essentially an adult version of Doug Funnie. Does anybody remember this moment shown below? It features Simmons nearly dropping an F-Bomb which we probably didn’t even think twice about as kids:

Donning those classic green sweater vests with a white shirt underneath — these two resemble a father and son coordinating outfits for the family portrait. It makes one wonder, was this intentional or were the cartoonists at Nickelodeon simply lazy about drawing out new wardrobes? Whatever the case may be, it’s hard to see one without thinking of the other in the back of your mind, because the resemblance is fu…fudging uncanny.

#118 Miss Trunchbull Is Terrifying.

Matilda is a classic book and film from the 1990s that entertained – but also disturbed us. The specific character responsible for our discomfort was the physically intimidating, demented, aggressive Miss Trunchbull. This woman, who resembled anything but one, did a number of things that are typically prohibited in schools. Let’s take a look at some of her disturbing deeds.

Shoving Kids In The Chokey: My deepest fear for a good portion of my childhood, was being forcefully placed in a Chokey-esque room. With its snug dimensions, and nails & glass shards sticking out of the walls, The Chokey takes the cake for teacher-student brutality… Speaking of cake, let’s move on to her next action.
Continue reading

#117 SuperMarket Sweep Made Shopping Look Like A Blast.

As a child, I loved going to the grocery store — and I think this game show was the cause of that. Even today, I don’t hate shopping – it just isn’t as fast paced and fun as I’d anticipated. On the 90s Lifetime version of SuperMarket Sweep, there were a variety of question games that entertained us momentarily – but they knew what we really wanted. The “Big Sweep” was so exhilarating to watch, I can’t even imagine partaking in such festivities. Basically, the teams would run through the store, filling their carts with whatever they could get their hands on. The goal was to compile the highest grand total, which decided the winners. Continue reading