For starters, Grandpa Phil’s head was undeniably shaped like a penis – I mean, look at it — just by being shown on screen, phallic head Phil was inappropriate.
If the silhouette of that man’s head isn’t problematic enough for you, let’s look at some more not-so-child-friendly moments involving Phil throughout the series.
For those foggy on Mr. Simmons, let’s jog your memory and get you up to speed.
He was a teacher on Hey Arnold and, as the picture makes evident, he was essentially an adult version of Doug Funnie. Does anybody remember this moment shown below? It features Simmons nearly dropping an F-Bomb which we probably didn’t even think twice about as kids:
Donning those classic green sweater vests with a white shirt underneath — these two resemble a father and son coordinating outfits for the family portrait. It makes one wonder, was this intentional or were the cartoonists at Nickelodeon simply lazy about drawing out new wardrobes? Whatever the case may be, it’s hard to see one without thinking of the other in the back of your mind, because the resemblance is fu…fudging uncanny.
When we were kids, there were very few forms of words & illustrations bound together on pieces of paper that really appealed to us. Besides Where’s Waldo and comic books, there were two other very well liked exceptions. Nickelodeon Magazine & Disney Adventures were two things that 90s kids really enjoyed. Nickelodeon Magazine ran a commercial that must’ve aired at every single break (see below), because it’s forever embedded in plenty of our brains. Anyway, these magazines featured content that we found interesting during that time period. See, nowadays we’re more likely to read magazines with content covering celebrity gossip, fashion, sports or things of that nature. Back then we got our thrills from Nickelodeon Magazine’s comics, pranks, posters, interviews, recipes, non-fiction articles and general humor. The coolest thing about ‘em was the fact that they didn’t strictly contain things only associated with their network; they covered all sorts of topics a kid could relate to! Meanwhile, Disney Adventures managed to capture the entertaining/fun aspects that Nickelodeon Magazine had, while adding some educational material in addition. So, we learned a few things and got the take pleasure in the puzzle games, entertainment news, fun facts (a section called: Weird Yet True) and a sports guide, created by ESPN. While both magazines have met their demise, they put together strong runs that managed to live on past our childhoods. If you have the slightest hoarding tendencies, surely you’ve got some of these magazines lying around somewhere.
OK, who else has seen this Nickelodeon Magazine commercial below SO MANY times that you can still recite nearly every word, verbatim? Nostalgia at its finest!
First and foremost, I’d like to take a moment to remember how awesome the bright orange VHS tapes that Nickelodeon put their movies on were…. Ok, moment over. Based off of the hilarious All That sketches, this full length film version was so enjoyable to 90s kids around the world. Good Burger is the story of Dexter, a young man whose relaxing summer is ruined when he crashes his mother’s car and finds himself employed at Good Burger alongside Ed. Across the street from Good Burger, a new competitor called Mondo Burger is opening, offering F’N GIGANTIC burgers for low prices. Dexter, Ed and the folks at Good Burger suspect something fishy and hi jinks ensue. The reason this movie is almost strictly for 90s kids is because most older people wouldn’t enjoy a movie made for children, starring characters they aren’t familiar with, and the youngins born too late don’t appreciate Kenan & Kel or know much about classic 90s Nickelodeon. For those of us that grew up in the greatest decade ever, Kenan and Kel provided us with more laughs than just about anyone. We had seen a hefty amount of All That which made The Good Burger skits and the fantastic comedy duo that Kenan and Kel assembled, household names. This cult classic has funny lines, ridiculous moments and Carmen Elektra in her prime – what more could you ask for? Whether it was the stealing of the ice cream truck or the mental institution scene, this movie delivered 90s kids with fond memories and more importantly, 95 minutes of Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell in action.
What were some of your favorite moments, quotes or memories of Good Burger/Kenan & Kel on All That? Leave ‘em in the comment section.
Helga Pataki was a crazy, stalker when it came to her obsession with Arnold, but in her defense she had a horrible life and a family that was dysfunctional enough to have a Lifetime movie based on their living situation. Helga’s father, “Big Bob” was a douchebag pager salesman who paid her little to no attention. The guy clearly loved his other daughter, Olga more than he did Helga. While Olga was “little miss perfect”, that’s no reason to put Helga and her unibrow on the backburner. Helga’s mother is hilarious when watching now because she was obviously, ALWAYS hammered! This woman was slurring her words while she constantly made and consumed her spiked “smoothies” before falling asleep in the most random of places. If that wasn’t enough, she had a license revoked and was required to do some type of community service at one point which sounds a lot like Mrs.Pataki earned herself a DUI. Being part of a family like this would be tough on any 4th grader but does that really justify Helga’s actions (harassing Arnold, bullying her peers, creating a gum sculpture of his head, etc.)?